


The Break of Dawn

by BlazingPrime



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Other, there's more to come !!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 10:10:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12340608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlazingPrime/pseuds/BlazingPrime
Summary: A collection of drabbles ranging from shippy fluff, to general thoughts and emphasis on certain panels (typical "what happened behind the scenes" kind of thing), to pure angst and pain. All focused on Transformers, more likely than not all focused on Rodimus, Drift, or both. Possibly ranging in other characters as well, though time will only tell.





	1. "Are You Happy?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the issue "Little Victories", where Rewind asked the crew if they were happy. A thought on how Rodimus responds past what we saw in the comic.

“Are you happy?”

“What?”

“Hold on, let me restart the recording and repeat it to you. And ready? … Are you happy?”

“… ‘Are you happy?’ How am I supposed to answer that?”

Rewind paused the recording. Rodimus seemed bothered by the question, judged by his misdirected gaze and his firm words. Strange, thought Rewind, that Rodimus of all mechs would not answer by directly saying yes with that signature grin on his face.

“It’s pretty easy to answer. A simple yes or no.”

“Yeah, but don’t you think it’s a bit vague? I mean, I could be happy about one thing and… Not happy about another.” Rodimus shrugged. “It’s not really a yes or no. It’s a… Depends.”

“Well, I’m talking about happiness in general. Anything.”

Rodimus paused. There’s slight hesitance as he glanced away, optics drawn to the floor, digits tapping his arms idly. He had to think about his answer carefully, leaving the two in silence for a long time. It was a time of reflection. Drift probably would’ve been happy to hear that he learned a thing or two about using the silence to meditate on thoughts. Except it wasn’t really meditation.

His first thoughts were about what made him unhappy. There was a long list. Some worse than others, some left unspoken to the world, many of which a select few have witnessed. Things that have brought him down, made him sick to the core.

For one, it was Nyon. Oh, how unhappy it made him. How it haunted his recharge cycles, how it tortured him so to know that one of the only things he associates with his home was its destruction. By his hands, he watched it burn. He begged forgiveness from Primus, but apparently, forgiveness was not granted for what further transpired over his lifetime. Nightmares frequented him, leaving him with no breath and a shaken frame, the feeling of burning crawling across his systems. Sometimes he worried if his unique ability to actively expose himself to flames would eventually cripple him, though he knew that it could never happen. Fire could not hurt him necessarily. The nightmares were using it to taunt him, to remind him of the ability that he has and the implications it comes with. Tying into Nyon, where it burned to ashes, nothing remaining from the carnage…

Yet, there were a few fond memories he could recall from living in Nyon; while the city was no longer a crowning jewel of Cybertron, no thanks to Nova Prime’s corrupt government, he could remember the Halls of Order rather clearly. He often wandered down the gigantic area, stopping by each of the statues within, staring at them with a sense of awe. He remembered travelling to the Shrine of the Matrix, basking in the subtle blue glow, wondering if it remained to be a real story. Sometimes, he stayed by the shrine, hoping that maybe, it would bestow upon them a rescuer.

Another was his inability to redeem himself. Primus above, he knew he had made enough mistakes to last a lifetime. Enough mistakes that even Optimus would be ashamed of him. He made the mistake of arguing with Bee, buying the Decepticons time to capture them. He made the mistake of getting himself captured by Scorponok, mauled to near death, almost killed and tossed away if it weren’t for his quick thinking and acting. He made the mistake of trusting Swindle, resulting in him bringing shame to the Autobot name. He made the mistake of facing Megatron alone, prepared to fight him alone, only to die upon being shot point blank in the chassis with the fusion cannon. If it weren’t for the Matrix, Rodimus wouldn’t even be alive right now. Just another loss in the war.

Smaller mistakes piled up on that. Trusting the wrong people, saying the wrong things, making the wrong decisions. A part of him wondered, “when did I ever do something right?” Truth was, he didn’t know if he ever did make the right decision in his life.

In his mind, he started making a proper list of things that didn’t make him happy, not necessarily in order. Trusting Swindle, Nyon, almost dying out of recklessness, commenting he “rehabilitated” Drift (he knows he hates himself more for even thinking that), getting captured, bringing Overlord on board, taking off wrong, being unable to be like Optimus is.

Optimus.

Not the source of all unhappiness, of course, far from it. Rodimus felt… Overshadowed. Everyone was once so keen on listening to Optimus and his brave, heroic words, his dramatic speeches that could move a galaxy. So keen on accepting his guidance, knowing from right and wrong, defining the meaning of being a Prime. Rodimus… He didn’t have anything. Just a bunch of failures and a small pocket of successes that were from others’ failures. His speeches were usually written by Drift, even if he put his own twist on it in the end. His decisions were usually influenced by other’s reactions, other’s thoughts, and Magnus was currently the biggest influence with his toughest decisions. Sometimes it took him all his will to think “I can be better than Optimus”.

“Rodimus?”

The voice made him snap out of it.

“Rodimus, you’re really quiet. Are you okay? If you didn’t want to answer the question, you could’ve just passed and we could’ve…”

“No. No, it’s fine. I have an answer for you.”

It took him a moment to think about the happier things in his life. Just enough to make the smile believable, the reactions sincere. He reflected on his time with the Wreckers, how Kup was just the right mech to give him the nudge he needed. He focused on how he stood up for Drift back before he was Rodimus, how a slight ping of pride hit him when he fiercely defended the other. Drift in general, really. The more he thought about it, the more happiness that he felt. It was enough.

And so, with a smile on his face and his arms casually crossed over his chassis, he finally responded to the question Rewind had asked him.

“Yeah. I’m happy.”

Only one could tell that he wasn’t.


	2. Chirolinguistics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodimus learns how to speak hand from Drift. Well, a handful of words, anyway.

Rodimus was determined to learn more chirolinguistics, something past the basic “hello”, “yes” and “no”. He, of course, entrusted Drift to teach him. Someone who was rather fluent in the ability to speak hand.

This was just one of many sessions, Rodimus trying his best to be patient as he watched Drift move his digits fluently to form a sentence. It was remarkable to watch, the digits being so light to the touch and yet being so too the point; no hiccups in how it was said. The sentence itself was something simple, something Drift was sure that Rodimus could understand clearly so he could repeat the sentence through hand. Said sentence being ‘my name is…’

Of course, he didn’t know what Rodimus would use for his name. Drift himself had chosen a word he felt appropriate to himself, but he hadn’t talked with Rodimus to decide on something he was interested in to introduce himself. It could come after he learned the three words fluently.

As Rodimus tried to remember the movements, Drift focused on repeating it when he asked. He asked plenty of times, which was rather remarkable.

“… Okay, okay, I think I got it.” Rodimus focused, optic ridges lowering in concentration, as he very slowly attempted to mimic the gestures. Once, twice, thrice did the speedster attempt this, only to sigh in defeat. “Drift, I— I can’t get that middle motion. The one for name. Can you…?”

“Of course.” Drift very slowly demonstrated how to say name, so Rodimus could keep up.

After Drift had finished the demonstration, Rodimus attempted to recreate it, movements slightly rigid in form though almost fluent. Almost. Drift could only chuckle when he missed one motion.

“Close. But not quite. Watch what I do very carefully.” And so, he repeated.

And Rodimus finally succeeded.

“There you go. That was it. Well done.” Drift smiled softly. “Now, try and say the sentence again. Slowly. Try and relax, too, your movements are a little rough and it can be misinterpreted by the one you’re speaking chirolinguistics to.”

“Right, right. Yeah.” Rodimus tried oh so valiantly, mastering the words rather well. Now, if only he could relax a little more, he would be speaking hand rather well.

Drift hummed at his progress, earning the raise of an optic ridge from the other. He was soon to jump at his own defence, servos relaxing slightly in the touch. “You’re doing well, Rodimus, but you are still not relaxed enough. I think you’re focusing too hard on the task at hand and not letting it flow like it needs to. Unless there is something I’m missing…?”

“No, it’s cool. You got me. Just, y’know, focused.” His servo slowly moves away from Drift’s light touch. “But I don’t get it. I’m still not relaxed enough? I’m totally relaxed! See my spoilers? Relaxed.”

Drift shook his helm in response, an amused smile on his face as he very carefully took Rodimus’ servo again, watching for protest. When he was met with none, he then intertwined digits, touch light as a feather, optics focused on watching himself speak the sentence again. His shoulders were relaxed, field resonating with tranquillity and focus, attempting to coax the captain into the same state of mind. He hoped – no, knew – it was working, because he could see Rodimus’ shoulders further relax, optics filling with the emotion he had been seeking, servo relaxed and reacting well to his fluid movements. Once he had coaxed Rodimus into the best state he could, he stopped repeating the sentence, a slight smile directed to the prime.

“Alright. Now try again. The same sentence.”

Rodimus happily obliged and repeated the sentence, achieving the fluidity that Drift had been looking for. The perfect balance that Rodimus had – miraculously – struck.

“There we go. You got it.”

“I did? I got it?” Rodimus grinned, making the motions once again, repeating the same thing over and over again with the same flow that he usually had. “Ha! See? Hand. Easy.”

“Oh, you know that wasn’t easy.”

“Shh. Let me have this wonderful moment where I finally can speak hand.” Rodimus laughed at his own sentence, though Drift remained silent, smile mildly present. “So! That was… One part of the sentence, right? Because that was ‘my name is’. But what do I do for my name?”

“Well, I needed to discuss this with you. Since you are no longer Hot Rod but Rodimus, you can’t say your name in chirolinguistics. You have to substitute with a word that suits you most.”

“That suits me most?”

“Yes, and it has to flow. Like it would your ordinary name.”

“Uh… Okay. Show me how to do umm… How about fire? Oh! Or Prime! Or…”

“One thing at a time, Rodimus.” Drift shook his helm once more, but obliged. “This one is fire…” He made careful and slow motions, watching as Rodimus repeated it. He repeated the word once more, before slowly moving onto the next. “And this is Prime.” He made the motions slow and easy to mimic, watching as Rodimus repeated the word a few times to him. “… Well?”

“… Neither really feel right. Weird. I thought Prime would work out for me. Guess not.”

“Don’t give up just yet, Rodimus.” Drift glanced down back to their hands, making motions for different words he could think of for Rodimus. He did each one at a slower pace, making sure Rodimus would repeat them clearly to him.

The words varied from light, to blaze, to captain, and even to Hot Rod. None of them fit, according to Rodimus, and Drift was starting to run out of ideas for synonyms to any of the words. Of course, most were similar, if not the same in motions, but…

Ah, that was a word he hadn’t tried yet.

“How about this…” Drift muttered, making slow motions with his servo and watching Rodimus make the same pattern. He noticed that it seemed to flow nicely for Rodimus; no hiccups during the word, the word being soundly said every time he repeated it to Drift. It was the right word, to the looks of it, and Rodimus seemed to have noticed too, with a large grin on his face and excited gestures with his servo.

“Hey, that’s it! That’s the one, Drift!” Rodimus beamed to Drift. “What’s the word?”

“Incandescent.”

“… Sounds like a word Brainstorm or Percy would use. What’s it mean?”

“It’s… Well, it’s when something has been heated to the point it creates light. I thought it fitting for you, because you do have your ability, and that you bring light when you least expect yourself to.”

Rodimus smiled softly and genuinely to Drift, looking down at his hand before motioning the entire sentence. It seemed to flow so naturally, Drift noted, and Rodimus seemed rather pleased with it considering the numerous times he repeated the sentence. It was nice. A touching moment, shared only by Drift, as Rodimus finally settled with saying the sentence at least 26 times.

“That’s awesome, but I also gotta know…” There’s a pause. “… How do you say ‘I love you’ in hand?”

Drift raised an optic ridge at the strange request, but found himself both flattered and determined to teach his captain the simple phrase. And so, he gestured the sentence slowly, punctuating each word for Rodimus to understand. As Rodimus watched Drift slowly yet fluently repeat the words once again, Rodimus mimicked, attempting to get them spot on.

“You almost have it. You just need to add the little motion with your thumb here…” Drift repeated the sentence once more. Rodimus stared at their hands, trying to gather what he missed, then immediately repeated it when he realized. “There. That was it.”

“Yeah? That’s how you say it?”

“Of course. Would I ever teach you wrong?”

“No. I trust you.” Rodimus grinned, digits moving carefully to repeat the sentence numerous times to Drift. “Huh. Wonder how to change ‘love’ to ‘trust’. You should teach me that too.”

“I suppose I should, but I was going to teach you basic conversation. Why this sentence?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” When Rodimus got no response, he grinned at the swordsman, repeating the sentence without thinking of it too much, trying to memorize it completely. “It’s because this way, no matter where we are together, in what situation, I can always tell you that I love you.”

Oh.

Drift flushed, staring down to their servos, digits intertwined with each other. He wondered if this was an intentional thing that Rodimus was aiming for, and judging by the other’s aura, it was. Well, that seemed to work wonderfully into the captain’s favour.

There was a few moments of silence before Drift finally replied to Rodimus through the chirolinguistics, watching as Rodimus intently focused on what he was saying.

“Okay, so wild guess, but you said ‘I love you too’, didn’t you?”

“Indeed. You did just learn ‘I love you’, so all you had to figure out was the last word.” Drift smiled a little, the soft genuine smile that was remarkably rare. “It is a very touching thought, Rodimus, that you would learn this just to tell me things like that. Do you plan on learning it fluently?”

“If it means entire conversations without Magnus noticing, then hell yeah.”


End file.
